Undertale: (file name not found) part #35

SPOILER WARNING: IF YOU HAVEN'T PLAYED THE GAME YET, PLEASE DO!

OTHERWISE THIS WILL MAKE NO SENSE OR RUIN PARTS OF THE GAME YOU HAVEN'T GOTTEN TO YET.

SO PLEASE, GO PLAY IT, SERIOUSLY!

...

WHY ARE YOU STILL HERE?

YOU BETTER HAVE PLAYED THE GAME BY NOW.

I WANT NO RESPONSIBILITY OVER SPOILING THINGS FOR OTHERS.
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Recovery goes surprisingly well, apart from soreness.

Walking is a tad uncomfortable but that should stop in time, running seems out of the question for now though, not that I have the room to try.

Toriel refuses to let me leave the confines of the home and follows me everywhere.

If I want to do anything, she has to approve.

I feel like I'm in lock down at jail, with my room being the only private place.

Heck, it's gotten to the point where she almost disallowed Napstablook till I repeatedly reminded her that he's a ghost and can't hurt me.

She's really getting on my nerves.

Thank the lord I have my phone and can still talk with everyone.

"HUMAN! WHEN WILL YOU BE COMING BACK? I HAVE BEEN EXPERIMENTING WITH NEW INGREDIENTS AND I SIMPLY MUST KNOW WHAT MY RIVAL THINKS."

"I'd love nothing more Papy. But mama has been on me like sauce on noddles. I can't get a break."

"SHE STILL DOESN'T BELIEVE YOU ABOUT GASTER?"

"No. And what's worse is that she blamed you boys for the mark."

"WHAT? BUT HOW COULD WE EVEN...?"

"I know. I tried explaining that to her but she didn't want to hear me. *sighs* Honestly...I'm thinking of sneaking out again."

"YOU SHOULDN'T DO THAT. IT'LL ONLY MAKE HER FURTHER UPSET."

"But if I ask she'll just shoot me down."

"LADY ASGORE HAS A GUN?!"

"Figure of speech sweety."

"OH...THAT'S A SCARY ONE."

"Sorry. So how's our jokerster?"

"SANS? HE'S DOING WELL. IN FACT...*SHOUTS* SANS! IT'S LYNSIE! DO YOU WANT TO SPEAK WITH HER?!"

I can pickup the sound of running and the phone gets jostled for a second.

"hey there lynn buddy! *slight huff* how ya doing?"

"*giggles* Did you seriously run?"

"...maybe?"

I can't help the laugh that leaves me.

"Oh man...I needed that."

"toriel still acting nuts?"

"Yeah. For a goat she's acting rather bullheaded."

"she's still your old lady. she's just doing what she thinks will keep you safe."

"She's over doing it. If it weren't for Blooky and being able to chat with you all, I think I'd have lost it by now."

"in a nonlethal way i hope."

"Please...I'd hurt myself before bringing pain to another."

"sadly, i believe that. but i also believe you couldn't bring yourself to do that either."

"True. I maybe human, but even I don't have the guts to do that."

Wow...this got fucked up real fast...best change the subject.

"Knock-knock."

"...who's there?"

"Canoe."

"canoe who?"

"Canoe help me out?"

"uh...i can try. what's the problem?"

"Are you able to shortcut here?"

"i can't pop in where i haven't been. it's dangerous. never know if i'll get stuck in a wall or something."

"But you can get to the door, right?"

"yeah. the door is no problem."

"Good...Meet me there in ten minutes. I need out."

"You aren't going anywhere."

Ah crap!

"...I'll call again later."

I hangup as Toriel storms in and attempts to take my phone, but I'm not one to let something of mine be taken form my very hands.

"Give me the phone, child."

"No."

She looks at me surprised.

"Excuse me?"

"I'm not letting you take it."

"Give me the phone."

"No!"

"Give it to me!"

She dives at me but I slip away, the chase is on.

To be safe I run on all fours, not sure how much stress these bones can take at the moment.

Now I oddly know how that little dog feels like.

"Lynsie, get back here!"

"No! You're out of control!"

"I am your mother! You will listen to me!"

"Or what? You'll ground me? We're already under a mountain!"

A wall of flame cuts me off when I try to leave the courtyard.

"You will not leave this place, child."

"You can't keep me here Toriel. It's contradictory to everything you promised."

"Eight children...I have lost eight children in my life. I will not lose another one because they think they can take care of themselves."

"I have been taking care of myself since I was six. I don't need to be smothered now."

"I am not smothering you. I am only doing what's best for you."

"Really? So not listening to reason, lashing out, and not trusting me is what makes you mother of the year?"

She glares at me.

"Hold your tongue child. Before you say something you'll regret."

"You're a great mother. A wonderful person. But this side of you...I can't take this side of you anymore. I feel trapped and not just because of the barrier."

"I just want to keep you safe."

"Locking me away from everything isn't going to do that. I need my space. I need to explore. I need my friends."

That seems to get to her.

"Your friends? The friends that lead you into danger and hurt you. Those friends?"

"You don't know the things they've done to keep me safe."

"Oh really? They keep you safe...Then why..."

Her eyes well up with angry tears.

"Why did I find so many of your clothes bloody and torn?!"

Oh fuck!

How did she...she snooped around my room!

"You looked through my things? What the hell mom?!"

"I thought I could trust you to be safe out there! Why were you lying to me?"

{Yeah sis, why were you lying to our dear mother?}

Not now.

{Yes now. I want to see you crumble.}

"Answer me!"

"You didn't need to know."

"Didn't need to know? My daughter gets hurt and you think I don't need to know?! That is something I most certainly need to always know!"

I get the feeling I had this talk before.

Oh yeah, I did...with Gaster.

"You're right. I'll admit that it wasn't the smartest choice I made. But in my defense, I did it for you. Knowing how you are, how strongly you fought just to keep me here when you thought I'd leave you...If you saw me come home beat up and battle hardened, you'd have locked me in my room and destroyed the door. I couldn't let that happen."

To that she is puzzled.

"You would risk your health for the sake of others? Why?"

{Do tell. Why do you risk everything for creatures that are beneath you?}

"Because..."

I stand tall on this, for this is me laying it all out there, my will and feelings, I stand by this 100%.

"You. The others. All of monster kind. You don't deserve to be down here. I know the law is to kill any human on sight and bring their soul to Asgore. And I would gladly let him have my soul for your freedom, as it is the least I could do to make up for what humanity has done. But that's just it. It would be the very least I could do. And that isn't good enough. I want to show monsters that there are some good humans in this world. I want to befriend as many as I can. Earn back the trust that was lost long ago. Even if I must prove myself, I will overcome any challenge place before me. So if I have to take a hit every now and then to prove I'm not a threat, that I'm not a bad person, I will smile and take that hit with pride. Because if I'm ever going to confront papa..."

"You will do no such thing."

Just when I thought I was getting through to her, she reenforces her resolve.

"I will not have that stubborn old goat take you from me."

"He won't take me from you."

"How do you know that? He's taken six children from me. What makes you think he won't take you too?"

"That's easy..."

{Go on.}

"Because you'll be there with me."

That floors her.

{...*laughs* Like hell she'll agree to that!}

"You...You want me to go see him?"

"Think of it as negotiations slash marriage consulting. I mean, he does have a right to see his daughter. And you have a right to get that apology you've been waiting how long for."

She opens her mouth to speak but pauses, letting my words sink in for the most part.

{No way. Are you joking me? She can't really be buying this crap.}

Reason wins out over petty bull-mess every time.

"If it helps, there's no rush on this. Take as much time to think it over. Just telling you my idea and hope that we can bring the family together."

{No! You're manipulating her!}

I am not.

{Wait...You ARE manipulating her.}

I am not!

{Oh my god...I'm so proud of you!}

Shut up!

{Maybe I am rubbing off on you.}

Never!

"Maybe...Maybe you have a point. His cowardice is what drove me away, yet here I am. Hiding away and trying to force you to do the same. You must hate me."

"Mama, no..."

She cries and I rush to her, a sweet thing but bad move, I step wrong making my leg buckle and slip on my ankle...instant pain!

"*snarls* Damn it!"

"Lynsie!"

Mother mode was engaged once more, at least this time it's less smothering and more caring.

A simple sprain has me out of commission again for several hours, so I'm back in bed, yet not alone, Toriel is with me.

We finally have a decent chance to talk more.

Not as mother and daughter, but as adults.

She explains her fears, her worries, her concerns, and all the other things that drive her into thinking the worst is to happen when it really won't.

Every bit of weight that's been crushing down on her over the years and as of recent, she let it all out, baring her heart to me...so I return the favor.

Like with Sans and Papyrus, I come clean in a way that she'd be able to understand.

Toriel is smart, maybe on par or more so than Papyrus, but nowhere near the intelligence level of Sans, so dumbing a few things was necessary.

Explaining that I'm an anomaly is a bit hard... so I opt for calling myself a quirky oddity.

When it came to Gaster, that went surprisingly well to a point...turns out she recalls the former Royal Scientist vaguely, never meet the man, but heard of him...this didn't mean she was happy with his treatment of me, nope, definitely not happy about it.

I avoid talking about the resets and only lightly hint at the genocide time lines, no need to crush her like that.

I also hold off on the Flowey is Asriel thing...saving that one for when we talk with Asgore.

But I do let her know of the voice that haunts me.

"But...That doesn't make any sense. Chara was such a nice child. Why would he become a demon and try to corrupt other humans?"

"I don't quite know the whole story myself. But from what the kid has let slip, he wasn't a very happy youth. Probably fell down the mountain for sad reasons. If he felt any sort of joy about being a member of your family, I haven't felt it in the way he speaks."

{You spiteful twit! How dare you talk to her about me!}

Not listening.

"And you're sure he was the reason for Asriel's death?"

"Told me so him self. His plan was to let Asriel absorb his soul so that he could cross the barrier and gain power. But Asriel wouldn't let him have his way. He fought back for control. The rest is known to all in the Underground as the day hope nearly died."

The day the Royal Family lost 2 children.

The day the King declared war on humanity again.

The day it was decreed that any human found in the Underground is to be killed.

And the day the Queen left the throne.

"My child...this is...A lot to take in."

"I live with it every day mama. If I can go through it and still smile, surely you can come to terms with it. I need you to. Even sleep could mean my death. I don't want us to fight anymore over stupid stuff. In fact...I believe I'll need more training in magic."

"More? But you're not ready. We've only just finished off the basic fundamentals."

{Come on you old goat. Teach her more. Make her more of a prize for me to claim.}

You need a hobby.

{You are my hobby. Nothing is more enjoyable than pissing you off.}

If I ever meet you, I swear to slap the cocky smile I can tell you have off that dumb face of yours.

{Bring it on bitch!}

"Child? Are you alright?"

I shake the voice off.

"What mama?"

"Was...Was Chara talking to you?"

"*sigh* Yeah. How could you tell?"

"You broke eye contact and started to glare a bit."

"That's new. I've been known to growl when he really eggs me on. But the yoke's on him. I'm too chicken to ever say his name."

{Argh! Shitty puns!}

She giggles.

Finally a sweet sound and delightful expression is on her face.

"Heheh...Oh, how I have missed this. But if you can, do explain why you can't say Chara's name?"

I lean back against the bed's headboard.

"A common belief in demonology is that by speaking a demon's name gives it power and summons it to you. If you are already being haunted by a demon, such as I am now, saying its name will only increase its power over you. Right now, he haunts me. Awoken by the high level of determination in my soul when I fell. So, if I spoke his name, he'd be able to much more. Even possess my body and force me to do evil things. Things that would make me ant to end myself if they happen."

"Like...killing?"

"...Yeah."

{And you'll be completely helpless to stop me. I'll cut each and every monster down with your very hands.}

Stop it.

{First, I'll make you cut your precious mother up the middle.}

Stop it!

{Then slice Papyprus's head clean off...As Sans watches.}

STOP IT!

{Next is Undyne, and you know how much fun it'll be to break her.}

"Stop it!"

Toriel jumps in shock as I tremble and hold my head as to try to get a grip on myself.

{Don't think I'll spare Mettaton either, he'll be crushed like a soda can.}

"No!"

"Lynsie..."

{Oh it gets better...Then we put that comedian out of his pathetic misery.}

"Don't you dare!"

"Child, fight it. It's just a voice. Chara can't hurt you."

{Dear old dad is next on the chopping block...Time for a new head to wear the crown.}

"I won't let you!"

{And last but not least, poor little soulless Asriel, we will show him no mercy.}

"No you won't!"

{Once that's done, we'll destroy the world, and do it all over again...Forever!}

"Ĩ̶̡̛͕͓̩͇̙͔̹̖̒̾̈́̕͜'̶̝̱̜̲̈͒̉́l̸̡̡̩͕̘̖͎͊͜l̸̩̗̈̿͗̓͐̅̇͗͜ ̵̭̽̏͠f̸̧̘̘̝̤͙͙̤̠̯̲̈́̿́͐͆͂́̒́̈́̔̇̚̕͜͠ų̵͓͚͙̲͍̜̑́̀̉͝ć̶̡͙͙͓̠̗̩̼̼̊k̸̢̨̨̡̢̻̮̝̟̣̰̞͂ͅi̸̛̲̯͔͔̮̣͆͆̌̋͂̇̈́̑̂͛̑̃͘͠ń̷͖̪͔͈̟̱͉͂̄̓̋̏̾͌͘̚͜g̵̛͕̰ ̶͖̳̪͔͔̫̺̍̈̎̔̂̀̏͂̇ͅe̸̛̩̗͓̜̫̤̱̿̋̾́͋͠͠n̸̦̼̼̺̲͐̐̑̽͒̃̃͝ͅͅͅḑ̵̛̩̬̰̩̼̹̻͙̖͗̂͑͊̈́̆͆̉͊̈́͆̀̀̾ ̸̢̺͔̗̭̝̹̰̯̊ẏ̵͉̜̍͆͠ǫ̸̧̜͈̪͎̉͂͊̊͛̀͗̓͐̚̕͜ͅu̶̢̫͎̣̟͕̳̭̗͉̞̰̽̿̍̌̏̈́̀̈́̃!̵̰͔̯̟̔́"

Everything goes silent at that point, mainly because I can't hear anything, there's only static, it's everywhere.

I can't feel anything, not my shaking, not the pressure I'm putting on my head, not even Toriel when she grabs me and holds me to her for dear life...I feel none of it.

Poor Toriel.

After so much stress and fear, she was finally getting back in touch with her human daughter, yet now...

Now a child of her past was tearing apart a child of hers now.

Not again.

She'd lost so much in her lifetime.

But not this time...This time she wasn't going to be a bystander.

If she wanted the happiness she's longed for, she had to put some effort in.

"Child...Listen to me. Follow my voice. I won't lose you. I need you."

She sits on the bed and keeps me to her chest as she begins to rocks me in arms.

"♪Baby mine, don't you cry. Baby mine, dry your eyes. Rest your head close to my heart. Never to part, baby of mine.♫"

I can make out something fuzzy in the static...something familiar.

"♪Little one, when you play. Pay no heed what they say. Let your eyes sparkle and shine. Never a tear, baby of mine.♫"

Is that...singing?

Why does it seem like I know this song?

Why are my eyes watering?

"♪If they knew all about you. They'd end up loving you, too. All those same people who scold you. What they'd give just for the right to hold you.♫"

Oh my god, I remember now!

It's from that scene in Dumbo where Dumbo visits his chained up mother.

It always makes me cry because of how sad that scene was.

"♪From your head to your toes. (Baby mine) You're so sweet, goodness knows. (Baby mine) You are so precious to me. Sweet as can be, baby of mine. Baby mine...Baby mine...♫"

I grip her tight and hide my face in her shoulder, I don't want her to see me cry, though my movement actually makes her smile, it let's her know I'm back to normal...for the most part that an anomaly can be normal that is.

"There, there. It's okay now child. You're safe. I'm right here."

"*sniffle* Thank you."

"Is he still talking to you?"

I shake my head.

"It's gone quiet. Everything was quiet for a bit."

"You had a strange voice while you yelled and then it became most unusually frightful. Has this happened before?"

"The first one I know happens with I'm really angry. I notice it happens to Flowey and demon boy too. So it might be related to determination. That distorted one...that one is new. Sans told me that one happened during a time Gaster had me. I think that one might be triggered when under extreme duress."

"I'm truly sorry you go through this, Lynsie"

"It's okay. I'm used to it by now."

"But how? How can you be so strong like this?"

"Oh, that's easy."

I look up at her and smile.

"Because I have you. My friends. All of monster kind. Your fates rest with me and I'll be damned if I let a killer flower or a crazy demon break me. I will fix the errors that humanity has done. I will make sure everyone is happy. I will..."

"Put some gold in the swear jar."

"Ah man! How much?"

"You said at least two that I can remember, so with five gold per swear, that'll be ten gold please."

"Okay...To be safe, here's twenty."

I hand over the gold and she chuckles.

"Whether or not you are meant to be here. I am more than happy that you are. You are the future of humans and monsters...Asgore once spoke those words believing that Chara would be our angel. Now I see that the real angle, is you."

"Awww..."

I giggle with pride as she moves me to sit up on her lap, resting her heard on top of my own and giving me warm mom hugs.

"I'm sorry I tend to be overly motherly with you."

"It's fine mama. I like it really. It's just something I'm not used to. My birth mother worked a lot so my brother took care of me mostly. But even after she stayed at home, her attention fell to my sister the new baby. I'll become accustomed to parental attention eventually. So, no big deal."

Her hold on me tightens.

"Is that why you prefer to be around those boys?"

I flinch.

Oh god...

"W-what do you mean?"

"Your brother helped to raise you. You feel more comfortable around other males."

Oh you have no idea.

"True. The perk of being a tomboy is being able to hangout with boys without the awkwardness of coming off as girly."

"Though it seems some of them still see you as you really are. A courtable female."

Don't tell me she looked through my phone.

"How do you figure that?"

"Your friend Napstablook told me he has feelings for you. But isn't sure if anything more than friendship would happen between you two."

I can't argue there.

I do like Blooky and even got my first kiss from him.

But I just don't feel, I don't know, a spark?

"This Mettaton fellow however..."

Ah fuck a duck!

"He's made his intentions quite clear. And I for one, am not too pleased by these pictures he sends."

"You went through my phone?"

"Not the messages. Just the photos and that one thing called, I think, UnderNet? You've gotten popular on that thing."

"That's from being with Mettaton. He's Napstablook's cousin and a television star in Hotland. He's been very enamored with me for a long time now. We went on one date and I'm hoping the talk we had then set him straight. But some of his messages still ring with hope that my affection will come his way."

"Do you care for him?"

"He's a nice guy. Don't let his showy personality and overenthusiastic flirting fool you. He's a very sweet guy once the cameras are off and he gets to be himself. He's confident. Charming. And nothing ever seems to get to him...except when it comes to me. For someone so well put together, I seem to be able to make him come undone real easy."

"He must really like you."

"He does. But...I don't think I feel the same way for him that he does for me. He seems to want something long the lines of a relationship based on physicality. But that's not something I don't want. He might come to learn this over time. But I have learned he might be too late."

That made her curious.

"Oh? Has a male become lucky enough to win over your heart?"

"Mom! Don't make it sound like that."

I'm so embarrassed but she just laughs.

"So...Who is this boy? Is it this GRILLBOSS32?"

Now that's surprising.

"Grillby? He's a fire elemental that runs a pub in Snowdin. I guess you could say I carry a torch for him."

The pun cracks her up.

"He's a great listener. Mainly due to him being unable to speak understandable English. But he is great when it comes to advice. He helped me a lot when it came to understanding my emotional attachments to certain people."

"Your crushes~?"

I sigh.

"Yes."

"So adorable!"

Do you or do you not want to have a serious conversation Toriel?!

"While I do like Grillby, I don't know much about him. I see him like Mettaton sees me. I find the flame monster to be very hot. But to peruse him like that would be wrong, and we agreed that things would be best if we took it slow. Learn more about each other fist. See how things feel afterwords."

"That's a very smart way to go about this. But you still didn't tell me if he's the one you seek proper courting from."

I blush.

This is getting harder to go into.

"You see...The thing is...I'm sort of...I've kind of have feelings for...two boys...and I don't know...if I can pick...one from the two."

"...You have feeling for the skeleton brothers?"

Dear god!

It is that freaking obvious?!

My face floods crimson and she gets all giddy.

"Oh young one! That's so cute!"

Kill me!

Kill me now!

"No it's not. It's a real problem. I don't want to hurt any of them. But my feeling seem about the same for both Papyrus and Sans. I have plans to go on a first date with Sans and a second with Papyrus. I just don't know what to do. Love triangles never workout in a good way."

"Hmmm...Tell me more about your attachment to then and let's see if we can work this out together. Lord knows if we were having this talk with Asgore around, he'd be ready to put an end to all of it."

"Overprotective father type?"

"When I was carrying Asriel, he would often say that if our child was a girl, he'd never let a male come within even fifty feet of her."

I snicker.

That's cute actually.

"Good thing he's not here then. At least for now."

"Yes. For now."

She nuzzle my head and smiles.

"Now tell me about them."

"Well...Papyrus is a bit dramatic sometimes. He presents a confident, charismatic image of himself. He works hard and, despite his lightly brash personality, is a kind skeleton at heart. He is optimistic and innocent to the point I just want to hug him forever!"

She laughs and for good reason, I'm being very girly, super rare moment.

"Papyrus is occasionally oblivious and nonobservant but can also be cunning at times, probably something he picked up in his training to be in the Royal Guard. He believes in others just as much as he believes in himself. He has so much faith in his abilities that he waited outside of Undyne's house all night and begged her to accept him into the Royal Guard. Seeing his persistence, Undyne offered to train him. But due to his sweetness, she instead gives him cooking lessons hoping to take him off the fighter's path."

"That's really considering on her part. I remember her. She was such a spitfire. I'm glad she stayed so kindhearted."

"Pap loves to cook spaghetti in his spare time, though many seem to think that he is not very good at it. But he's learning to get better as I'm now his cooking rival. Heheh...He loves puzzles and japes. He likes to read and be read to. He owns a collection of 'complex tomes about puzzle creation'. Though advanced puzzles may seem cerebral, Papyrus also enjoys children's books and is somewhat childish in his room decor. He also collects action figures that he gets from Santa. He's just so darn cute!"

"Oh! That's Asgore."

"Really?"

"Yes. There was an incident where some teenagers tormented a Gyftrot by decorating its tree-like horns with all sorts of things. This caused it great discomfort. So the local monsters started giving the Gyftrot presents to make it feel better. It then slowly became a tradition to put presents underneath a decorated tree while Asgore, dressed up as Santa Claus, would go door to door bringing gifts."

Holy carp that is the coolest Christmas story ever.

"So cool!"

"It is just how Asgore is. He really is a kind man. A cowardly kind man."

"Papa is complex. Everyone is. Though it's usually the one's you think you understand that hold the biggest of mysteries. If there's anything I've learned, it's this. The sweetest smiles hide the deepest secrets. The softest eyes have cried the most tears. And the kindest hearts have felt the most pain. That is a truth I know all too well. Just like Sans."

She grows concerned and hugs me more.

"Go on my child. Tell me about him."

"Sans is laid back, often sleeping on the job and taking breaks, mainly due to working so many jobs. His so called laziness is a combination of fatalism and apathy. He wonders if his indolence stems from his knowledge that any progress he makes will be erased when the time line resets. Conversely, he suggests that this knowledge could be 'a poor excuse for being lazy'."

"The poor thing. He sees no point in trying anymore."

"He says that, but when it comes down to it, he's always the one who fights the demon the hardest. He's also usually agreeable, but he can becomes eerily serious at particular moments. He is also observant; reading expressions and can often tell when something isn't right. He enjoys making bad, skeleton-related puns, although the fact that he performs at MTT Resort hints that he may be a very talented comedian."

"Heheh...I think that's something we both know to be true."

"He enjoys science fiction and loves to drink ketchup. I'm not sure if he indulges in other condiments, but know he has them for his hotdogs. He also hates making promises."

"He told me that when I asked him to watch over you. I asked 'If a human ever comes through this door...Could you please, please promise me something? Watch over them, and protect them, will you not?' I know that was a lot to ask for from someone I didn't know. But I'm glad he agreed."

"I am too. I think it helped make him more comfortable when I would come to the door and talk with him. Nothing breaks the ice better than jokes. But being funny isn't all that he is. Sans also has a scientific background. I've found a quantum physics book in his house, not to mention his old relationship to the current Royal Scientist Alphys, and his affinity for science research into alternate time lines."

That takes her by surprise.

"Quite the intellectual, isn't he?"

"But he's also very sad. Nothing really seemed to matter to him anymore. Sure, no matter the circumstance, he had Papyrus with him. Yet when the demon had control, no one would be spared. So much death has happened over and over. Universes destroyed and created, then destroyed again, etcetera and so forth...Honestly, I think this is first time in a long time he's been genuinely happy. And I want nothing more than to make sure his smile never falters again. I want them both to be able to leave this place and greet the open sky with knowledge that it'll never be taken away from them again...I just want everyone to be happy."

There's silence for a bit, I'm tearing up and trying to keep it together, she quietly gives me comfort which helps a lot.

"You really do care a lot for those boys."

"*sniffle* I do."

"You'd do anything for them."

"I would."

"Do you see a future with them?"

"I...I don't know..."

I never thought about that.

"You want them happy and that's all you've really focused on. Isn't it? Their happiness. Their feelings. Them only. You've been completely selfless in every action that you do. But answer me this, my child...What is it that you truly want yourself in life?"

It's like I've been punched in the gut and the wind is knocked out of me.

I never thought that far or looked at things for myself.

I don't really have any wants other than the simple things, the things I've already sworn to do, but needs?

What do I need?

I guess I want what I never had before...I do want love, true love.

But is it even possible for me to have it, that they can give it to me, and if they do give me love will it stay once freedom is achieved, who's to say they won't regret choosing me, what if I can't keep them happy?

Argh...too many variables...too many possibilities...this sucks!

I start to tremble.

"I don't know."

Just like that, I feel shattered.

"It's okay young one, this is normal. No one knows what the future holds for anyone. It's scary. I know. But don't let that fear consume you. For what is life without risk? Had I not given Asgore a chance, I would've never known happiness or had my sweet Asriel."

She's right.

"Don't look at the 'what if's' but the 'what could've beens'. If you don't take the chance you'll regret never knowing the things that might come of it. Be brave my daughter. You are strong. I know you can do anything you set yourself to doing. So if those boys are what you want, then you shouldn't let them slip away because of the unknown. I believe in you."

That did it.

I cry to her words.

I've never been so supported by a parent, and when it comes to her, I can feel honest love pouring out.

"I love you mama."

"I love you too Lynsie. And always will...And I'm sure they feel the same too."

"I do love them. I just don't know who I love more."

"Are you sure you don't know? You sounded pretty sure to me."

I look at her desperately.

"Who?!"

"Knock-knock."

Really Toriel?

"Who's there?"

"Love."

"Love who?"

"Sans, that's who."

[Lynsie.exe has suffered a crash. Rebooting now.]